As I mentioned in my last post, I began learning Spanish again a little over a year ago. Because I want to practice what I’m learning, I try using it in real life with native speakers whenever I can. Through these conversations, I’ve gotten to know some Hispanic Americans that I never would have known otherwise.
When we visit, I sometimes feel stupid. I have ideas and I can’t find the right words. I give Spanish speakers lots of reasons to laugh at me! But they don’t. Instead, we laugh together.
My new friends are teaching me much more than just Spanish. I’m learning how it might feel to be a new U.S. resident. I feel lost and insecure at times when I talk to them. I can only imagine what it must be like for people new to this country. This experience is making me more empathetic.
I’m Studying Spanish and I Like to Practice
Luckily, I don’t mind appearing foolish in front of others. It’s been happening a lot lately. At my first lesson, I learned how to tell people that I’m studying Spanish and I like to practice. (Estoy estudiando español y me gusta practicar.) This is the first thing I say to pretty much anyone that looks like they may habla español.
My opportunities to practice start early in the day when I’m walking my dog as the sun rises in California. With my new friends, our conversations were simple at first. We would greet each other and visit about the weather. Later, we began talking about our weekend plans and our families. We commiserate about the challenges of learning a new language – conversations happen so fast! There’s no time to think! I think of the right word or phrase five minutes too late!
People I’d Never Know
Through these interactions, I’ve been able to get to know people who started their lives far away from los Estados Unidos. One of my favorite friends is a former bank manager from El Salvador who now works in landscaping. His name is Edgar, a name he shares with both his dad and his son. Quick to smile, he has a darling new baby granddaughter named Emma with chubby cheeks. I’ve seen the pictures and videos. (¡Muy preciosa!) He recently proudly showed me gorgeous photos of his homeland, a place with beautiful beaches, volcanoes and jungles.
Mi amigo Edgar
One woman, Margarita, a regular at the dog park, calmly visits with me. She speaks slowly and is happy to repeat things and wants to help. She told me about coming to the U.S. thirty years ago illegally and being arrested in San Diego. After crossing the border a few times, her employer helped her get the right paperwork in order and she became a U.S. citizen. I felt sad to think about this sweet, small woman being detained, even if she did cross the border illegally. I’m going to ask her more about why she wanted to come here and what that experience was like.
Margarita walking the dogs
Some conversations have been dreadfully sad. Covid has hit the Hispanic population hard. Another regular at the dog park, Sanna, an exuberant woman, passed away a couple of weeks ago due to the virus. I had heard she was doing better, but then she took a turn for the worse. A landscaper, Emilio, lost his wife to Covid. As he told me about it, he was barely able to speak. He lives with his eight siblings and his mom, so he’s not alone. But I know he must feel lonely without his dear wife. Last year his face was alive and alert. Now he looks stunned. I pray that his grief lifts as soon as possible.
My new friends have helped me with more than just the language, they have also taught me about where they are from. I now eagerly read any articles I see about Cuba, El Salvador, and Mexico. I care more about our immigration policy. These places and policies have become real to me because of my new friends.
They Are the Experts
My friends teach me a lot, but there’s more to it than that. These interactions tip our socio-economic hierarchy on its head. I’m the white woman in a nice neighborhood with white privilege all over the place. My friends have come to this country, learned a new language and started from scratch. Their jobs are tough.
But when we speak Spanish, they are the experts and hold the power. Our conversations can quickly move from my understanding what is going on to being completely lost. I hope for kindness from them as I fumble around, grasping for the right words and using wrong verb forms. I intend to talk about someone who is tired and instead I say that they’re married. I sound foolish because I am foolish in their mother tongue. They could easily laugh at my attempts, at my vulnerability, but they don’t. Instead, they gently offer me the phrases or words that I’m searching for.
These new friendships are a gift. Getting to know them has changed my perspective on what it’s like to be new to our country. I know what it’s like to not know what people are saying. I now know how important it is to get help from others with communication. I’m more empathetic.
Maybe I’ll become a proficient Spanish speaker someday; maybe not. I don’t know. In fact, I may forget every Spanish word I know, but I won’t ever forget the people I’m getting to know because of it.
I didn’t expect this beautiful gift, but it’s a glimmering treasure, more beautiful than any possession I own.
28 Comments
I loved everything about this post! It was wonderful!
Thank you for reading, Mary!
This, Jennifer is one of your most wonderful blogs to date. Don’t we all wish we could put ourselves in others shoes from time to time. Its humbling to think how privileged we are in this country. The lessons you are learning are way more than the language. We should all make the effort to understand. Thanks.
Awww, your comments gave me goosebumps. We are SO privileged. Thank you so much for reading.
Jennifer…. loved everything about this. My grandson’s other grandparents are Mexican Americans. I’m learning so much about their culture and they help me with the language. They celebrate family and friends in a large way. However, I’ve heard immigration stories that had me in tears…. a teenager who’s mother was deported after being here for 20 years ….father taken from their family in the middle of the night…
Jennifer…. you are truly a special person…Kudos to you for taking on this journey and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Hope you are well!
Oh Lou, you are experiencing this same shift in perspective. What horrible, horrible stories you’ve heard. Nobody deserves that.
Thank you so much for reading. And I hope you are well too!
Jennifer, hello! I’ve never left a comment before—but simply must! This new post is amazing—moving and sweet and sad all in one. Thank you!!
Thank you so much, Laurie!! I appreciate your comment and reading!
Your blog is a gift in several ways. One is your example of allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Few of us are able to to do that. Another gift is naming your privileges’ and understanding that in your vulnerability and curiosity to learn you are giving your friends a gift as well. Thank you for your example.
Thank you so much, Tim. It’s been a heart-expanding experience.
What a beautiful blog. As others have mentioned, you put yourself out there and gently looked at others with fresh eyes. This blog is both moving and inspiring. Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story. Maybe it will open others eyes and heart. Bev
Thank you, Bev. Probably all of us need our eyes and hearts opened as often as possible. Thank you for reading!
I love this blog too! It reminded me of when I lived near the border in New Mexico. I met so many hard working people who were farm workers, gardeners or just passing through looking for work. They just wanted to provide for their families to have a better life. Mostly, I remember they were kind and helped me with palabras en Espanol. Thanks for the memories Jennifer!
You are fearless! It makes me smile to think of all the vocabulary that you needed to know to have these conversations.
Thank you, Jessa! Muchas palabras nuevas. 🙂
Jennifer, what a beautifully written blog. You are so inspiring. Well done. I so enjoy reading your posts.
Thank you, Kathy! I look forward to seeing you this Spring!
Jennnifer, You have a gift of making things happen with your insight and profound change occurs. You have proven that in Sioux Falls repeatedly. You did that when you were a teenager on the swim team. God has gifted you with wisdom, courage and insight to what is possible and you are not afraid to go for it. This incredible blog lets me know your passion for Spanish may lead to so much more….perhaps help with our immigration policy and border concerns that are occurring today. Your help, wisdom and insight is so much needed. I pray you will avail yourself to the greater good you seem to be called to. Val Putnam
Thank you so very much, Val. This is so nice to hear from somebody who has known me forever! I actually do see myself getting involved re: activism on this topic. We shall see. Life is more interesting than we could ever design ourselves. I am open to the possibilities! I hope you and your family are doing well. Thank you for reading.
I loved reading this post, and it reminds me of my days spent with patients at the clinic while I was interpreting for them and hearing their stories in the process. There is so much power in storytelling, both in the telling and the listening. Thanks for telling yours and your new friends’ story! I’m reading the book “Somewhere in the Unknown World” by Kao Kalia Yang, which is a collective refugee memoir. Like the stories you are hearing, the book is moving, heartbreaking, and inspiring. Definitely recommend! xoxo
Oh! This sounds like a wonderful book. I’m going to add it to my reading list.
I love hearing how you had this experience when you were doing medical translating. It really is powerful to hear their stories and I imagine, feels good for the one sharing his or her story.
Thanks for reading! xoxo
Me encanto esta publicación. Gracias por compartir. (I am practicing too)
Well done Jen!
¡Me encanta tu practicando! ¡Muchas gracias por leyendo!
Learning and interacting in Spanish since 1994 is a life changing experience para mi!
Me encanta que estas aprendiendo tambien!
¡Muchas gracias! Es muy divertido.
Dear Jenny:
When you described the topic of this blog, I knew immediately I would like it, and I wasn’t disappointed.
You have entered wholeheartedly into being the Other, and the rewards have been great. You influence others, so it really matters what you say. We all know there is so much division in our country. A piece like yours lessens the division because people see what can happen if you open yourself up to people who are different from yourself. The ripple effects of this will go on and on.
Blessings, dear Jenny,
Catherine
Ohhhh, thank you so very much. Your comment made my eyes tear up.
Yes, being the Other is exactly what it feels like.
Thank you so much for reading and your touching comments! Blessings to you too, sweet Catherine.
Such a great adventure you are on! I live the truths and stories that are revealed as you seek to better yourself/ your Spanish!