I have been looking for a new home for my piano. I’d like to donate it to a group that could use it, rather than having it sit untouched – a gorgeous decoration in my living room.
I started taking piano lessons when I was 8 years old. While my mom taught piano all of her life, even when working full-time as a speech pathologist, she was not my teacher. This was good. I bristled when she would make her rare, mild, much-needed suggestions during my practicing.
In junior high, high school and part of college, piano lessons were a big part of my life. I accompanied choirs, participated in many contests and went to a national music camp for a month a couple of times. I was into it.
I enjoyed learning new music. When assigned a new piece, I was taught how to break it down into bite-sized sections and gradually put the puzzle back together into a beautiful, cohesive picture. It was always a bit of a shock and oh-so-satisfying when that happened.
While studying the piano, I learned skills that serve me well today. One professor firmly taught me that focused practice is far more productive than unfocused practice. This seems obvious, but is easier said than done. He had high standards and would accept nothing less than my very best effort. I also enjoyed seeing an unknown, disliked, new piece of music transform itself into something I liked as I learned to play it.
All of this study and practice was time-consuming. By the time I was in high school, my teacher expected me to practice two hours/day. The same was true in college, even though I wasn’t a music major. Finding the time (or not finding it) was often stressful as I tried to balance it with homework, athletics and friends. Looking back, it probably was too much to ask of a teenager, especially one who had some ability, but was certainly not talented enough to pursue a career in music.
Playing as an Adult
As a young adult, I didn’t play much. Fortunately, I was able to get a beautiful piano in my 30s. I played and even resumed lessons for a while from an elderly, knowledgeable teacher that lived in a bungalow in Palm Desert, CA.
However, more often than not, I didn’t play regularly and felt guilty about it. Gradually, the music I used to play became too difficult for me. Recently, I tried playing easier music by sight-reading hymns. That was kind of fun. I also enjoyed learning a piece of music that my husband liked and surprising him on his birthday by playing it.
But by and large, I just didn’t, and don’t, play. This has been true for many years. So why is there a big piano sitting in my living room?
Breaking the News to my Mom
About a year ago, I mentioned to my mom that I might find a new home for my piano. She gasped with horror. How could I do that? I told her I didn’t play and didn’t really want to play either. Ever the piano teacher, she said that I just needed to start playing regularly and then I’d want to play. She had a point. If I don’t play tennis for a while, I don’t miss it. But then once I resume playing, I fall in love with it again. Maybe the same would be true with the piano. But for some reason, I never seemed to sit my butt down on the piano bench in order to find out.
A month or so later, she tentatively asked me with a pained look on her face about my piano plans. I told her I was going to keep it for a while. She looked relieved.
Moving Brings Up the Question Again
We will be moving from our home into a condo in a year. As we think about decorating it, the piano decision has resurfaced. And now that my mom has passed, the time seems right to find a home for this beautiful instrument, a place where it can be played.
I have limited free time and want to spend it doing things I feel excited to do. I want to cook, walk my dogs, do yoga, play tennis and write blot posts in my spare time. I like to shop online too! I can’t do it all. And just because I loved playing the piano 25 years ago doesn’t mean I need to continue playing today. (Right?) Most every adult I know doesn’t play a musical instrument and they seem to be doing just fine.
I’ve contacted a few non-profit musical organizations to see if they’d like the piano and so far, nobody can accept the piano. I will continue searching. I could sell it, but it would be more meaningful to give it away to the right group than to reduce it to an ordinary sales transaction. Once the piano has found its new home, I will move my desk out of its cramped area into the spacious, sunny corner of our living room where the piano now resides. I’m excited to sit there and work.
Finding a new home for my piano is bittersweet. My mom and the piano were synonomous. Her piano was her most prized possession. This has made my decision difficult and complicated.
But getting rid of something I don’t use, and then feel guilty about not using, would be freeing. If I can find a place where it can be cherished, I will feel good about that. And down the road, if I miss playing the piano, then I can find a way to get one back into my life. In the meantime, others can play, dream and express themselves on the piano that used to belong to me.
24 Comments
Donating it to some place where it will be played, cherished & valued seems an ideal solution.
I agree 100%!
Jen – what a lovely thing to do! I have a few ideas about this, I’ll call you????
Please do! Thanks much!
Jennifer, that has to be a horribly hard decision. I play and enjoy the piano a lot and play as therapy more than I ever expected I would. Let me know if you have trouble finding a home for it. I have a few ideas
Thanks, Anne! I’m getting a number of good ideas, but I will let you know if none of them pan out. Thanks again!
Definitely agree. It will be freeing (but hard to do)
Yes and yes!!
I forwarded this to women who will place this beautiful piece in the hands of people who love and adore music. I hope they respond. I know first hand how important music was to your mom! I may have been the first piano student “fired” because I just did not want to learn, But, this is amazing, Jennifer! What a gift!
Ha ha! How funny to think of my mom firing a student! I bet she did it in a gentle way. 🙂 I’m getting tons of ideas of groups that may want the piano. Thanks for helping spread the word. Very exciting!
Hi Jen…I SO enjoy reading your blogs…what an impressive gift your piano will be when you find the right ‘fit’…how ’bout your Sioux Falls Hope Lodge location?
Thanks for reading, Peg! I like the way you think. The Sioux Falls Hope Lodge is probably a few years away from being done….but wouldn’t that be an amazing home for my it? Wow!
Yes, an amazing gift for someone! It makes it easier to do, knowing that!
Giving it away makes all of the difference….
I never did learn the piano but I borrowed your mother’s flute for a year to get started on music lessons in the sixth grade. I continued to play through middle school and have picked it up again a few times in my adult life just for fun. It’s a lot easier to hang on to a flute.
My mother says that your mother was a much more talented musician than she. I always thought my mother’s piano playing was amazing. In the last 20 years or so, she has taken up playing daily again and it is such a gift to listen to her. With her encouragement, my 15 year old nephew has picked up the piano and now attends an Arts High School.
Thanks for giving me an opportunity to think about these things and the gifts of our families. I can only imagine how emotionally complicated it is to give up your piano. A great recipient definitely makes it doable.
I had no idea that you borrowed my mom’s flute for a while! So nice. And yes, much easier to hang on to a flute.
I’m glad to hear that your mom is playing regularly. I bet it’s really nice to hear. And how cool that your nephew is at the Arts School! My mom would talk about how musical he was.
Thanks so much for reading. I bet when I find the right recipient, it will turn into a blog post. 🙂
I went through a similar phase Jennifer….. I simply did not enjoy it as I once did. I’m not sure why I was so guilt ridden getting rid of it. Maybe it had to do with all those hours as a child… not sure. I donated it to check that needed one. It was CLEANSING ????. 10 years have passed and I’m enjoying new and fun activities!!
This is SO great to hear that you went through a similar experience! I like to hear that it was cleansing!That’s encouraging. And how funny to picture you sitting in the vet’s office, phone in hand and trying to post a comment. So sweet. I have a number of good leads on possible recipients for my piano now. Suddenly, I wish I had several pianos to donate to groups!
Oops sorry for the errors. I was using my phone,with the dog on my lap, in the waiting room at the vet. Haha. Donated the piano to a chruch ????. AND it was cleansing with an !!!!!
I give up… church ????
I think a church would be a great possible recipient! I have a number of possibilities to sift through…so happy about that.
Jenny,
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece on your piano–in part, because it also summarizes my relationship with my piano.
I once mentioned to your mom that I was hardly playing at all anymore. With a pained expression, she said, well, surely I would be starting again. She was 100% committed to the beauty and value of music well played. Her particular gift was as a pianist. She made the most of it and wanted others to benefit as she had.
I believe there’s someone out there who will love and cherish your piano and PLAY it!
Looking forward to the next gift from you. . .
Ha ha ha! That is so great to hear that you’ve had a similar experience, even with my mom, no less! Yes, it was her special gift to the world. I’ve focused so much on whether to find a new home for it that I have under-appreciated how exciting it will be to the new recipient. I’m sure this will turn into a blog post. Thank you for reading!
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