Yesterday I toured American Cancer Society’s Hope Lodge in Minneapolis. It was the first time I had been there since my mom passed away.
Hope Lodges are owned and operated by the American Cancer Society and provide out-of-town cancer patients a place to live while receiving cancer treatment. About 18 months ago, my mom was to begin 6.5 weeks of daily head and neck radiation. She lived 70 miles away from the treatment site at the University of Minnesota. Driving back and forth for treatment would have been impossible, especially after the first week or so, when the side effects were unpleasant and the fatigue became overwhelming.
The oncologist’s nurse told my mom that there was a place she and a caregiver could stay, at no charge, when she was receiving treatment in Minneapolis. It was called Hope Lodge. The Lodge has 41 rooms and is almost always full. But there was room for us. We couldn’t believe it. A place to stay, for free? It sounded too good to be true.
But the reality was even better. When we checked in on the first day, we immediately felt welcomed. One of the employees, Ryan, gave us a tour and conducted orientation. He made us laugh at a time when we were scared and needed to chuckle. He showed us that while this was a scary time, we could still have fun.
Within a few hours, we had made some friends. Some were from rural Minnesota and some from as far away as Japan and Belgium. One couple had come months ago, expecting to stay for a week. Several months later, they were still there. Before long, we had friends to sit with during meals and hear how their days were going. We even began running into people we knew from Hope Lodge at the hospital or cancer clinic! In a matter of days we went from being outsiders to feeling like we belonged, thanks to Hope Lodge.
One evening, several of us were done eating dinner. We hand washed our dishes and loaded them into the dish sanitizer. Several of us stood around the dish sanitizer, waiting for it to be done, so we could dry our dishes and put them away. We chatted and laughed, holding our damp dish towels. One man was there because he had to have all of his crumbled teeth removed after lots of jaw radiation. Nobody knew what the future had in store for them, but right then, we were as comfortable and as whole as we could be. That moment was all we had and it was all we needed.
After seeing how Hope Lodge could transform a scary experience into one of love, support and healing, I began to wonder why we didn’t have a one in Sioux Falls. Sioux Falls has two large, rural health systems that both have impressive cancer treatment centers. There must be tons of out-of-town patients that need a home-away-from-home. It seemed like the perfect location. I wanted to help bring a Hope Lodge to Sioux Falls.
A few weeks later, I called the American Cancer Society’s 1-800 number and asked if I could talk to somebody about bringing a Hope Lodge to Sioux Falls. The customer service representative said, “Um…I’m going to have to have somebody call you back about that.” The next day, the local office was in touch with me and the wheels were set in motion.
We’ve made tremendous progress in the last 18 months. While we are not yet an official Hope Lodge capital campaign, we’ve gotten a lot done, too many things to list here. We have a fantastic volunteer Task Force, ACS team, and consultant working on reaching our 2016 milestones. I’ve also learned that both Health Systems, along with ACS, have done an admirable job of meeting the needs of patient housing in Sioux Falls for years. The systems, volunteers, community and donors have long recognized this need. Bringing a Hope Lodge to Sioux Falls would be an extension of this effort.
Part of this effort included touring the Hope Lodge yesterday with our consultant, so she could see first-hand a Hope Lodge in action.

Me, Cindy Peterson (our consultant) and Tim Torgerson from ACS at Hope Lodge yesterday
Tuesday night, the night before the tour, I woke up at 4 a.m. with a rare headache. Part of me dreaded going to the Hope Lodge again. I had only been there with my mom and we had had maybe the best times of our life together there. All of a sudden, we knew her life might be shorter than we had hoped, so we were motivated to make the most of it. We had lots of time to visit, laugh, read, and be together. In regular adult life, one doesn’t often get prolonged periods of time together with a parent. Regular life gets in the way. When one gets cancer, regular life stops. We savored our time and looked at each other with appreciation and amazement.
I decided to take the tour one moment at a time. As we walked in, the place didn’t look like I remembered it. It felt darker, probably because she wasn’t there.
Other than that, things mostly looked the same. We visited all of the floors, saw a guest room (bedspreads are now blue and brown, not pink and purple), went into my favorite, sunny TV lounge (side table has been moved away from the windows) and swung by the dining area (new hardwood floor). I was asked how it felt to be there and had to respond that I couldn’t really think about it. I felt kind of like a robot.
The tour wrapped up and I was relieved to get into my car. I was stunned, but didn’t know it. I got lost trying to find the freeway, a route I’ve taken many times. My mind and heart were elsewhere.
After crying a bit on the drive home, I started to feel like myself again. I wish I had never needed to be a guest at Hope Lodge. However, I’m also deeply grateful that I was. I’m even more grateful to be working on bringing one to Sioux Falls.
A Hope Lodge in Sioux Falls will give thousands of cancer patients the opportunity to experience what my mom, sisters and I felt. I can’t think of a bigger gift to give to someone. Thank you, Hope Lodge. And thank you, Mom.
35 Comments
I don’t know what is braver – walking through those doors yesterday or offering the world such a vivid picture of the experience. Big hug.
Thank you, Cindy. Glad you were there with me. And are with me!
Jennifer– let me know how I can help. XO
I will! Thank you, John!
Your vision for what will be for the many patients who will benefit is as inspiring as it is authentic. This will get done, thanks to your passion, energy, and focus. I think you know, but your mom is smiling down and beaming with pride. Your gifts are many, and the treasure you are is bringing another treasure to Sioux Falls– it’s an honor to serve with you!
Thank you, Tim. Your comment brought tears to my eyes. I’m so thrilled you are a part of this effort. Thank you.
You, my dear Jennifer, are amazing – Having family and friends who have surrendered themselves to this awful poison, I agree, Sioux Falls SO needs a Hope Lodge for their families to “be”…thank you thank you thank you…
Thank you, Peg. Sioux Falls does need this! Thanks for reading.
Thank you for a loving a straight forward account of your experience with your mom that is leading to a blessing for others. It took courage to walk through those doors again and realize where the light and love came from.
Thank you, Deborah.
I dearly remember your mother singing with an ambassador of the u of MN hope lodge. At that time, hope lodge restored my need to be just another person going through her journey. I needed to stay away from others during my immuno-compromising chemotherapy. I felt lonely and hopeless even though I have great family and friends in South Dakota. Hope lodge enabled me to re-engage with others safely during my surgeries and radiation. I needed to be around others that did nothing wrong but had a difficult therapy regime with no guarantee of a life prolonging outcome. I am so gratified we will be able to provide, in time, an opportunity to help others know they are not alone in this journey.
I am so glad Hope Lodge was there for you and that you were there at the same time as my mom. Thanks for being a part of this!
grace. love.
I think that’s what life is all about.
Jennifer, What an incredible gift Hope Lodge will be to Sioux Falls. It is so beautiful that the compassion, help, support, and encouragement that your mom and you experienced there will ripple out and touch many other families and lives. When your mom would tell me about your efforts to get a Hope Lodge started in Sioux Falls, she was so so proud of you. Love goes so deep.
Thank you, Jeanne. What a beautiful comment. I appreciate that you understand this!
What an awesome project you have taken on. Best wishes for smooth progress on what will be a wonderful legacy for your mom.
Thank you, Kenzie! It’s a super project. I’ve been enjoying it tremendously.
Jennifer…my heart is welling with your account of your journey with yout mom….if anyone can get this done it would be you…your love…light and passion comes off tbe page with hour words…you are a blessing and will bless many. My best to you for sharing your time and vision for others…
Thank you, Lou! So sweet.
*swelling
Jennifer, It was an honor to be with you on Wednesday to tour Hope Lodge. Your comments capture the true essence of what we want Hope Lodge to be. Lets keep plugging ahead on our tasks to prepare for a campaign in Sioux Falls. Thank you for everything you do and are doing.!
Thank you, Tim!! I so appreciate your support.
Oh Jennifer – what an inspiration you are! I feel so blessed to be on this journey with you. Your strength, courage and generous spirit are the guiding force and because of you, so many other patients will get to experience the warmth and comfort of the Hope Lodge. It’s meant to be!
Thank you, Laurie. You’ve been part of this every step of the way!!
Jennifer, this is simply amazing! <3
Thank you for sharing your heart! Much Love!
Thank you, Stacy!
Jen, thank you for sharing. I had so many of those same feelings spending time with my mother in the nursing home. I have not had the courage to pass through those doors again although I’ve often thought I should give back somehow to those people who offered care to a charming old lady that had nothing left but her memories. I so very much admire what you are doing and I’d love to help. Please consider me as you find yourself in need of volunteers.
Oh, thank you for telling me this, Jeanne. I’m glad your mom had such good care in the nursing home. It’s so important. Thank you for being interested in volunteering. I will definitely let you know what sort of help we need down the road.
Jenny – what a wonderful project. Jacquie would be so excited and proud. it was sad that she needed to be there but she spoke of so many special things that happened at HopeLodge. I think.of her every time my fingers touch the piano keys -miss her
She was very excited and knew a lot about the progress of bringing a Hope Lodge to Sioux Falls. I’m glad she lives on with you at the piano. Thanks for reading.
Jennifer, you are so beautiful and brave. Thank you for your bravery to visit Hope Lodge again and face those memories, and for your courage to share your experience. I know you would do almost anything you could do, even if it was difficult, to bring Hope Lodge to others. And thank you for the big huge heart of yours that wants to bring that “welcome home” to others who are experiencing what you and your mom experienced. So much love.
Thank you, Lavelle! Yes, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to bring a HL to help even more people. Thank you for reading!
This piece brought tears to my eyes, Jennifer. I can only imagine what you’ve been through, and how sad it must have been returning to Hope Lodge after your mom’s passing. What courage you have! And you are doing such great work!
[…] an American Cancer Society Hope Lodge to Sioux Falls. I’d say that qualifies. But I’ve written about that before and will write more about it down the […]